Mommy's Grandpa

On Monday night my Grandpa Max Madsen or as he's known in my family, Mommy's Grandpa, died at the age of 96. I'd mentioned before in this blog how he had fallen in May and had broken his hip. After two surgeries, he went to live with my parents because he had started to become more and more confused and it was obvious that he could no longer live alone.

At first the confusion would come and go, but he would remember the times when he was confused and it would seem like a dream to him. He would ask me how to fix it. I was like his personal nurse and I liked that. I love that my training and knowledge can help my family. He'd call me over to him and say "I have an embarrassing question for you." It always started like that even if it was a simple question like how much Tylenol - oh, excuse me, acetaminophen, could he take in a day. The answer to that is four grams by the way, although, he'd never take more than two grams even if he needed it.

As his nurse, I got to help him try to understand what was happening to him as his health began to fail over the last couple months. He felt so betrayed that his body and mind were both giving out on him. He could not understand why we insisted that he not drive, never mind the fact that he couldn't get out to the car on his own or react quickly enough or even really see very well. I could get away with saying to him "As you personal nurse, Grandpa, I don't think you're fit enough to operate a vehicle." That would lay that argument to rest for a few minutes at least. With my training and experience I could also help my mom and dad understand that his confusion was because there were physical holes in his brain and the connections were no longer there and it was affecting thing like his memory and personality and would only get worse. I also got to watch as his heart began to fail and his legs and arms began to swell more and more as the fluid in his body backed up and knew that this great man in my life would not be around for much longer.

I had the great honor of being with him as he passed from this life to the next. I have been with other people as they died - it was often a part of working in the ICU - but never someone that I loved. As I had experienced with others before, when he died, the feeling in the room is similar to how you feel in the Celestial Room in the temple. You can feel how very thin the veil is and that there are more people in the room than those you can see. I know that my Grandmother Elaine was there with us waiting to hold him again. You could feel the love in the room and it was eternal and pure. I am so glad that I was there. I learned many things from my grandpa during my life and perhaps the greatest, most important lesson of all was etched into my heart and memory that night: families are forever. I love you Grandpa.